Saturday, February 16, 2008
Hearing the ugly sound of the background setting; spiritual connection to the beautiful sublimity. Only one time of discovering on existence, which a riducule of the same period of accountancy remained unsettled and gone, can result to overbearing sequence of appearance no one can control; as if it created a certain connection even breath cannot grasp.
Come clean, something essential and ever will be. I have been indulged into something I haven't really felt before; never run away.
Labels: Facing Inner Views
Erika Ruiz
Monday, February 04, 2008
Suddenly, It turned out to be that I didn't go out at all. My house was exposed to be of the same ground, same setting of my school. I went to the supposed-to-be-door-to-my-room on my right transformed to be the school's elevator. I was going to ride minding myself how I hated going up stairs that now it had become a habit, but rather than to be in front of it, I didn't face it. As it opened, instead of going into the usual people jammed inside the only single elevator, before the door closed, I was able to unconsciously slip in a piece of white paper I could not even comprehend if it have something written on it. I was able to see two of my classmates who were supposed to report the same thing that I have to report in another class.
I remembered myself riding a train while having the same kind of temperature. The train was low-leveled. I was looking outside. It was a desert with hills of the same color from the plains. But the sand was not of brown-orange color; it was pure white in all aspect and view. I was not even sure if the plains had craters in them. I stared inside and looked at the people - standing or sitting, they were all wearing white coats despite of the sweaty weather - with their diverse motions, the strike of the light on the train window making my eyes hurt. I suddenly felt a pang of dread wear itself all over me.
I came back to what they call reality. I came out of the door on the left and was supposed to meet up with my friend as I was holding my communication. One blink, he was now walking with me as we furthered outside. Then I saw my friend sitting in the terrace writing something, looking like a professional with a pen on his left ear. I introduced my friend to my friend. Done with the formalities, we left my friend and proceeded at the back of my school in which it looks horribly like my house. My friend and I were to eat dinner in a hot early afternoon. We bumped into one of my acquaintances. Fully introduced to each other, my acquaintance was sort of talking but I was listening to my friend who was not paying attention to what my acquaintance was saying for he seemed not to bother at all and talked to me how he likes the vibes of my friend sitting on the terrace.
We were to go out of the gate for real, from the back to front. Against the face of the gate was the terrace, but my friend who was writing was nowhere to be found in his former place. My intuition told me it was going to happen, but I still felt disappointed. I was to eat dinner with in a very warm summer in late afternoon. I seemed to feel that I was locked up in this setting. My world circles around in nothing to be called serene in its rigorous way.
My friend and I progressed with our walking as if each step takes a lifetime to reach. We talked about how I dreamed of myself inside the lounge of the house heading my grandmother's funeral. There were a lot of faceless people who went to visit, hollow - or to say meaningless - humanities. I remembered she was already long gone since last year and I was not crying. I was looking at them up at the stairs without developing any temple of emotions, it's as if I was just plainly watching something. The feel looked eerie and fog was visibly and slowly dancing around the lounge. There was no casket to be seen. I dozed off thinking of connections while expressing the wonders of a subconscious revelation.
I realized my friend and my friend were one, which weirded me out totally like delirious bonkers. I didn't notice the sun went shy, was covered with the clouds and the wind grew very, very strong; as if it went impulsive from an unacceptable overtake of the sun to the phenomenon. Not long, I noticed I was being taken away by the wind; no hurricanes to be seen. I was reaching for my friend's hand, the end. I held on to the woods of the gate. I noticed that my shadow remained idle on where I was standing; it has totally deserted me. I noticed this was another dream. My body and I went upside down while grasping firmly on the woods of the orange gate in perfect setting that makes me depreciate the life I'm into, not wanting to let go because I was in fear; dancing in the wind.
Labels: The Self to the Art
Erika Ruiz
