Things Undone

Depression

Whispering unconsciously
without sinking butterflies
always ephemeral
never to be grasped

I drank coffee protruding
everything I know that is
bliss shorter than impossible
flying freely in hatred

Sense a map of my vision
I tried to keep my faith
solving purple puzzles
I can never complete

Whispering to me with
deliverance I cannot
achieve alone needing
bliss, always absurd

Turning off the light where
the glow of darkness marks
the end.
I might fail...

It seems odd why people have to be depressed. Maybe because of the reason that we couldn't have some things that makes us materialists. Mistake makes us whole but we never wanted it. I feel depressed a lot lately - I don't know - about school, about not being able to follow my mpassion, about being alone, about not being so free, about my stupid self. Well, about everything I could think of. I wish I could change it and be new but I keep on thinking that I would never love me when I became new. I have fears of being different yet I want to change some things. The perfect answer would be a stronger me, not a new me. How odd that I knew the answer but I'm still confused on how to move. I can't go out and it's making me depressed. I feel empty.

I guess I'll try to eat coffee.