Who am I? What am I?

Having the mutations and distortion of the life, the path of the enlightened vagabond begins to complicate the edge. The mind and the self continue to complete the wholeness of existence as it struggles to accept the substantial and project to the infinitive interests the living. Every phenomenon is conscious is then experienced and is then a valued significant substance to conceal and begin the maturity of the bare nakedness. The more the nudity is fashioned, the more it is then to be undressed to transcend and activate the reliance to a different substance – the irony.



I dreamed of a darker comedy in an untimely quiet.
Thinking it was a memory of the faithful yesterday,
it was the absolute of the doubtful beauty.

The self-evolution; the awakening of the self to what is there and what is further. She never traded her soul and magic for the sake of the reputation and wins the infidel of the rest. With all the dread, it lived in her entirety as the wisdom. She learned the basic necessities, as walk, read and comprehension, and learned the existence of the subconscious and control. She learned how to hide the literal into mystery in script. She then calls herself with her name by present, of being certain and aware of herself. She molded her personality from her parents and older sister, learning the basics to further the education and by the time she reaches her later years in high school, she recognized the best treasure in the purpose – and that is wisdom. She pondered, at start; she thought she was very naïve. She learned that if she wouldn’t go crazy, she would lose her mind in such sense. She thought she evolved to the other-before-unknown side too fast, but for the very first time, she felt the realness of happiness that pursued her personality guided by her own principles.

The unheeded depression; the mutual action of self-organization, in seeking, to the motion of another substance. She is attached to the ties that go in her blood yet she loathes her binds seeing such as shallow and possessing an indistinguishable core, if ever there is one. She is not the reason of this aftermath and did not like the presence of this reality. She accepts and throws all the negative forces all on one dark way. The indisputable motivation is what she wishes, fearing the outcome of whatever movement all go to one into suffering. The time passed and all died, it went into the destruction of the other and her flight to the unfinished business of the unheeded depression. She had family problems creating detachment and isolation. She accepted it and is still in the process of aiding the lost. She is slow and self-restricted with the fear.

The monster and the viciousness; the element of inter-personal dependence in understanding the other’s characters. She watched how the character transformed from broken to the destruction of hope, positivity and the self. She didn’t help thinking of conforming on her own fears. Up to now, she wishes the gift of openness to end the anguish or so she is just reasoning herself out of her faults. With an expected death, she thought her father had ended his suffering, being the one helping his sick mother – her grandmother. With her father’s shallowness and negativity losing his pride, she is affected and is dying of peace in mind. She resorts to her present of thinking into metacognition and basis.

The story of the idleness that once took consciousness into the unknown. The contemplation and introspection to discover what is beyond. She chose to wait and the force gave her the emptiness. The mechanical part of the dualism of her own predominantly leads her to sloth nearer to becoming apathy. Her learning stopped and procured to the order of the plain and insufficient wisdom to the advanced mind. What happened too fast must not be stopped by a time-consuming occurrence or else idleness would begin. Up to now, her slowness and critical distance renders her the creation of the void to the self. She struggles to uplift the whole thing by activity, but she still hasn’t regained what was hers and with what she felt before when her vigorous days of largely yearning to the infinity. She is still expecting now having the possession of a character and sense of identity unique from the different existence.

The aspiration to the unreasonable possibility; the adjustment of the being to the present and self-interest. The canon of aspiring the unruly thoughts and still pursuing it ruins her and makes the reality be found in the common grime of the negative view. She hated objectivity even though loving Jean-Paul Sartre, bringing the thought of straightness. The works of Milan Kundera, Niccolo Machiavelli, Albert Camus, Paul Riceour and J.D. Salinger enlightened her passions of philosophy writing, literature photography, music, films, books or everything that is art in general. Riceour noted that there is no such thing as objectivity, but it is only a subjectivity having objectivity. She has been restrained from the excruciating ceremony of creation and the next, the end and the obliteration. The extremities of her chosen major, the consular and diplomatic affairs, from the art are in the edge of each end. She loves politics, history, true delegation with international relations and geography among the reserved side. Philosophy is what she loved the most thinking of studying such after the other major. She is still in exploring the closeness of the two extremities and finding the final reside avoiding complications to the mind. She longs for the unreasonable possible; she is learning the poverty of the soul. She discovered the act, abandoned it and maintained what is there to learn and what is to maintain as the substantial element to achieve more of the unsatisfied instinct of the self, which is the infinitive motion.

The grief to the basic height; the thought of the peaceful, darkest and deafening silenced nightmare, which is death. She had never thought of the fear of death, but the thought of being done in the world thinking too much and enlightened with wisdom feeling the kind of a bizarre-stricken carelessness and free with already had the thought of being capable of discovering the next phase of the life, the afterlife. She lives by the moment that a sudden principle has made into view. Disregarding the fact of desiring to stay that good-odd feeling of full of enlightenment, the moment urged an attempt on what has to be done, to be done. Camus noted that there is only one social problem in this world, and that is suicide and in the irony, the great philosopher/existentialist died of a car accident. The grief and fear of the unknown is not in the unquenchable thought of her.

What makes an ‘I am’ is that the connectivity being the essence of life and that the conscious and the unconscious is relative to the natural phenomenon and human personality change to be sentient of the transformation of awareness to the better. The sense and sensibility, she has a core. She is sensitive and understands, views the translucent reason, empathetic and has self-organization. She is a character to the reality and an element of idealism. She is a subject by knowing her own rationality, loving self; social and spiritual, making creativity and raw intellect are of answer to the predicament in character and solid perspective.

I am the constant diversity. I am being-becoming. I live, I have a soul and body, I believe, I think, I sense and experience, I exist; I am. I am the she.