Bitter Sixteen?

It's my birthday today and I'm 16 years old now. I don't know why, but I don't like me getting old even if it's just another one year of age. What a dreadful life.

Well, I don't like vacations. I prefer to be in school. It's because I usually wait for my sister and my mom before going home that I stay there up to 6:00 PM. And that reason made my school a constant scenery. It's like the feeling of oddness if you're not there in a long time. It's a void I'm not addicted yet, but I like it more than to be at home. At least, in school, it's making me feel that it's not my only world as I could go in different places and smile and I don't feel caged or isolated. I just hate it when I have to commute alone, I'm a bit afraid. When I tried, I lost my phone (recently) and the month was a complete bad luck month for me. It's like riding an elevator with the suspicion to the ride not stopping anymore. The ride continues to play safe making you stable at a very young time. More like eating bubble gums, but even though I could feel changes everyday, there are still constant agonies that I couldn't solve because I don't want to do the only solutions.

I want something to fulfill my happiness and finish this unknown business. I wonder why I still stick on with my belief that I know would only end with grudge; a wrong perception to my tomorrow. I don't want to explain to me anymore or I'll lose my mind thinking about a possible solution without detaching myself from my principle. With this acceptance, freedom or hatred, either which, will still render me pain. Pain for my pride and weaken my deliverance; pain for a wound you never know if it will ever turn into a scar. I can't think of anything anymore. You see, I'm still having some problems I write in a form of a drama along with my writer's block. I just wish to be free and feel alive.

No worries, I'm just being emotional. I still have some smiles to expose on my face. I feel I need to. Well actually, right now I feel happy writing a new post.

Happy Birthday to me!