All In My Goblet

I'm a bit out of the drama compared to my past post. I remember I wrote that because a mosquito bit my leg. Talk about the sweet inspiration. I had a little fever when I wrote that too. Now I feel weird. I even have come up with new fashion dress designs in my mind. Now I have all the unorganized feelings in the world.

As normal as a student can be, you can still get a 4 (highest) in Physical Education Physical Fitness (PEONEPF). To tell you the truth, I didn't learn a thing from the subject. Fine, truthfully, I learned how to exercise.

I got the rest of the course cards today and I got a good GPA! A very good one that made me get into the Dean's Lister. I can't believe I'm getting paranoid just about my GPA. I get foolish, yet our counselor said during my counseling (it was needed to pass my ORDEV-A class) that I was a bit laidback and overconfident about school and I still need more motivation and industriousness to my studies. To be true, I got shocked to learn that I still have to hear it from someone before I notice it. The counselor's right, I'm a bit uncommited when it comes to school, but I am sure when it comes to writing composition and journals, I put an extra devotion to eliminate my writer's block-mindedness. It's fun to see that I still get fine grades when it comes to any write-ups even though I despise to share my experiences, especially for Bible Studies journals, due to complicated hardships of expression that is why I can't keep moving. I'm happy I did get good grades that I thought I didn't deserve.

I don't know why I sometimes feel I'm so stubborn. Even me could feel exasperation when I become too adamant. It makes me stick to my principles and makes me feel strong, yet sometimes it is the source of my vulnerability and un-locomotion. Why do I have to drink all the mixtures in the goblet?

Oh my, I'm excited about the 2nd term! I'm not shifting. Subjects are almost related to the past, the only difference is aesthetics. God, about manners and the physical aspect of beauty, as if we don't know how to deal with it yet!

I still can't continue writing my fanfiction. I even have ideas of editing it. I also have new ideas not put into motion. I require myself to feel sensitive to each of the characters I'm gonna be using before I turn to write. I feel trivial towards it.

Anyway, I made another poetry. We sometimes dream too much. No, it's not forbidden to dream, yet we don't have the strength to handle the challenges before success appears, and stray on just fantacizing about it. It's about the beauty of dreams and our fantasies that never came true:

Existence

Like a diamond weeping inside...
I wake up seeing with such
a conceiving felicity
to my phantom and affection
molds me unreal, but serene.

Poor arrows attacked soldiers to death...
Such and enchantment beneath
it allowed me unforeseen touch
of oblivion to colors of my
unmoving catastrophe, with irony.

Eleven times I shot the twinkle...
Somehow I feel convinced
to see my blindness in certainty
yet denounced to know you
don't know my existence,

the colony resigned in delusion
sensing it is but a fantasy
forever a dream I know not
to enter my sensibility,

given this being,
given this favor,
you see me transluscent eternally,

in your reality.