The Anchor is Away

Last different thing that I've done was to enlist for my desired course subjects to take for the third term. I remember last month I was freaking tensed because I didn't know what was enlistment and what the hell was I suppose to do despite the biggest size of letters on the bulletin board exposing the guidelines for the frosh students on how to enlist for a course.

It was like looking at a different type of life. One thing I found out of though is I don't need to enlist myself into anything I want, anything I need and into anything I have to achieve. Life won't have ponderous revelations. I won't be able to see the pureness of the present enlisting myself to the future I thought would be present. One thing you need to achieve is not to look too much ahead, instead look ahead grasping the greatest knowledge you can ever receive and that is the gift of freedom. I need a big leap of faith and it's not as simple as being a common phrase that you could always see.


One time I claimed myself to be fine

and it mobilized my veins

To a faraway land

I felt rejuvenated to start

then I saw a void

nothing to begin and to divide with

I can't look back not remembering the waves

I want to perceive, but I was mislead

My life didn't feel flourishing

I only felt worse.

Then I had another weird dream. I was walking near the school when I tripped and landed on the floor where there was a white plastic bag filled with broken glass. When I tried to stand, I was frightened to see my left leg drowning with blood and it has so many slits from the sharpness of the glass. It felt horrible, but it didn't hurt me physically. It ended with me having a talk with my mother and I was happy.

Does the tripping mean I'm going to go to the deepest despair of life? Do the bloody slits mean that I'm going to be able to stand up having a scar, but using it as a weapon? If that's a symbolic premonition, I still won't enlist myself ahead too much or I wouldn't have my own reality. I'll start to evolve living with my present.

I also discovered when you think about some things too much you always end up not having it and at the same time as having too much wants in life that is sluggish overall. You would notice that the truth in which you live is so horrid you wouldn't even want to think of it. It is bad to live with your dreams like burning your candle of life at both ends. You won't be able to see the real beauty of your reality until you discover it yourself, as you nourish your being with the lessons, without gazing sideways and being the strongest person having the most beautiful experiences in life.