Brighter than Sunshine

It was the perfect phrase as a description to the happiness I felt while it lasted... or so it still continues. At those relative moments, I want to do something serene and forget all the world-weariness I've always felt that makes my cognitive ability to deteriorate... in mind and in spirit. All I want to do it to give and think like wisdoms overflowing in my mind. My heart and mind are both sick.

Sometimes my frame of mind sways a lot. Sometimes I'm open, loving, just happy, serene, understanding, kidding around, even bored, not contented and sometimes I'm annoyed and ruthless. I don't know how to express myself and how a different strong thinking interprets it, but I want to express myself. I am presenting my very own endeavors. It's not that I could not go on, but this is what I am seeking right now and I want to improve it if only I don't have the limits that are never boundaries in their initial posts. I am not blaming this, but I want something, for fate's sake, to create a good conception in the making, in which when it started in the next phase, everything will be handled by self-stands and make good to perfect in own perceptions. I want knowing the things that I adore know me. One time when they can never define me, that is the time everything's deep and translucent.

I like it when everything goes mature and saying that everything about our own juvenile points are still in existence and in direction of the evolving one. In preservation to the good old times where everything started and will always be long-lasting. I'm still hoping that one day I would be able to use my ideals to where they really belong of why I've thought of it in the first place. And then everything will grow and be established up to creating a little cabin where peace and simplicity remains while the cicadas sing with a wonderful melody among the blissful everything. I'm still the most fruitful and everything is a happy ever after. Where I can only see sunsets a day has already ended. Like nothing will fade, nothing will die, like I'm moving forward and forward.

I'm scared to know the next phase of this little park I'm walking to while journeying to see the light. It is not very clear. I don't know what is really happening, but I want this commons to come with me to the infinity. All I know is that sometimes I like what's happening, sometimes I don't. That reality is sometimes bitter, sometimes lucky. I don't want to be a being in distress always waiting to be saved, but a person to help a hero nurture.

Before it shines, let me first have a wishful thinking to have a better covering to crawl out and feel more compassion in my very presence.

Maybe it's just a strong appeal to the things I haven't seen related to the things I always wanted to see just like everybody else because we are meek. I just want to believe I'm different. I'm not even valid to qualify as a prize from the heavens.A season has already ended and I'm still into wishing to reality for a lot like love.



Still No The End

I went to a place called loggia
Indifference came into view and I touched it
Everything was merry and unbalanced
But I felt emptiness until a light stroke my way
I didn't anticipate for any notion
Then I was happy not all are dark and void
I didn't know what I saw in the light
I didn't know what makes me like it more
I felt so stable and secured
The flicker is not the thing I wished for my own sake
But the power broke my lonesome post
Like almost welcomed me to such warm heart
Found a new better place and kept me warm
I'm still in doubt and confused
I kept myself hidden for my faults
The gleam stopped a second and appeared again
I felt serenity and pleased once more I grow
If everything could ever be this real forever
If everything is just a dream
And I'll wake up wishing for the absurd
Everything is still unclear
Everything is still in the middle...